


Agape

by Smollchan



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lee Felix Deserves The World, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Health Issues, Minor Minsung, Past Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, Soft Seo Changbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29877720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smollchan/pseuds/Smollchan
Summary: Changbin would never give up on FelixOrWhere changbin helps Felix recover from past abuse
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 12





	Agape

Red . 

He scribbles with red crayons. 

He tightens his grip before he furiously runs it over the paper tearing it . 

" No .... no .... no my crayon ..... my crayon " 

" Here ! " the husky voice interrupts placing a blue crayon infront of him . 

" Blue ! " he claps . 

" How do you feel ? " 

" Me ? " 

" Yes Felix " 

" empty " 

" Do you know why " 

" because my red crayon is broke " 

" do you want more red crayons " 

" I want! I want but they call me crazy , they say I'm dangerous, why ? Why ? " 

" Felix ? " 

" Yes hyungie " he replies distracted by his blue crayon. 

" Please use the crayons I give you " 

" Will you give me red ? " 

" I will but promise not to find crayons on your own , they'll hurt you " 

Felix nods scrubbing the blue crayon on the white wall as Changbin slowly takes the bloody knife away wrapping up Felix's wounds . 

\- 

A white pill in his mouth. 

" swallow it " she says in a frustrating tone . He hates it , he hates people who are not nice to him so he refuses shaking his head . 

" swallow it " she repeats pulling hair . 

" What the fuck are you doing! " the husky voice saves him again . 

Her hands are replaced by big warm ones that message his scalp where she hurt him . 

" I hate - hate it hyungie hate it so much " he whispers . 

" I'm sorry , I'll protect you " 

" I'll protect you " it rings in his ears except its not this husky voice , it's the voice he hates the most .

" I'll protect you " he keeps hearing it over and over again. 

A manic smile appears across the tall Grey haired man and he slips his hand in Felix's pants. He screams loudly and he kicks him away . 

His rage taking over him he punches his face . 

" You - I hate you - I hate you ! Go away ! " 

" Felix ! Felix please its me " the husky voice brings him back and his hands tremble as he sees the bruise on his eyes . 

" Who ? Me ! Me ! I hurt - I hurt hyungie" 

" Felix listen- listen to my voice , focus " 

Felix curls up in the corner covering his ears . He can't hear him say he hates him . He doesn't want to be hated . 

The gentle hands pull him close slowly allowing him to uncover his ears . 

" Lixie , lixie is sorry, lixie wanted him to go away " 

" He's gone , I'll never let him close . Here when you swallow this pill it'll help you I promise " 

" Hyungie I've been bad " 

" You didn't mean to , you wouldn't hurt your hyung knowingly would you ? " 

" No - No never I'm sorry " 

" Its okay , it's all okay " 

\- 

" Hyungie the the dark ball keeps getting bigger " 

" Hyungie ? " he repeats and tries to turn to find comfort in the older but his body doesn't move . 

The ball keeps growing, he sees her shadow then . " You're a disgrace Lee Felix , how could you kiss a boy " 

" Mum I'm sorry " 

" He hit you didn't he , you deserved it " 

" Felix ! Felix " he's saved again . 

He opens his eyes and the older is there . His eyes widened in concern . His lips chapped and his hair a mess but his hyung is the most handsome. 

" Changbin Hyung Mum told me I deserved it " 

" What ? Lix don't listen - " 

" She was okay with Greg hitting me , she even liked it but it's my fault I'm gay" 

" No , no its not - not at all Felix . He didn't deserve you . He never saw how beautiful you are perhaps he was blind , he never saw your kindness . He didn't deserve someone as perfect as you " 

" Hyungie I don't deserve you " 

" No Felix " 

" No ! " he yells cutting him off , " Its hyungie's job and he's good at it but lixie hurts hyungie and hyungie is too nice to beat him up like lixie deserve " 

" You deserve nothing but love " his hyung is crying now and so is he . 

" Hyungie , if you ever get tired of me you can give me back to Greg so he can end it but please don't tell me so I can go away thinking you cared " 

" I would never , I would never get tired of you . I will give you everything Felix you just ask for it . I'll never leave you because without you I'll lose myself " 

Felix timidly kisses the older holding Changbin's hands down . He knows he's safe with his hyung but he doesn't want anyone to touch his body like that. Perhaps never . 

\- 

" Hyungie I watched a movie " 

" Yeah ? What was it about " 

" I didn't fully understand but hyungie ?" 

" yes ? " 

" with me , do you want to - " 

" want to what " 

" you must be so tired of waiting " 

" What are you - " 

" he always said I'd be nothing if it weren't for my body " 

It clicks Changbin then . 

" Lix - you aren't " 

" You can use me hyungie " 

" No Felix- " 

" You can use my body however you like but please please don't leave me " 

" I don't need your body to stay Felix , I've been in love with you since I saw you and I would never touch you to just pleasure myself , I would never use you in any way . I'm here to love you only , I can wait for as long as you want " 

" What if I never want it , what if I don't ever want to have sex with you . Then what hyung you'll find someone else and then I'll be alone " 

" why ? Why do you think that way , I won't need anyone else and it does not matter as long as you fall asleep in arms everyday , let me take care of you and love you I won't want anything else " 

" No sex ? " 

" If you don't want it I don't either " 

Felix smiles hollering himself on Changbin's lap presses kisses on the older's neck. 

\- 

" Hyung its been long " 

" hmm ? " 

" I don't see him anymore, just rarely in nightmares " 

" That's great lixie " 

" Yeah " he nods , " Hyungie ! " 

" Yes baby ? " 

" Our nice neighbor Jisungie " 

" What about him ? " 

" He proposed to his boyfriend " 

" That's nice , did his boyfriend say yes " 

" He did , and Jisungie said we're welcome to the wedding " 

" That's great, we'll have a fun little outing " 

" But what about you hyungie" 

" Huh? " 

" Do you want to marry " 

" It depends on your opinion on marriage " 

" It does ? " 

" Ofcourse do you like the idea of marriage " 

" I do " 

" Then will you marry me ? " 

" No " 

" What ? " Changbin asks confused he had thought that the younger was suggesting it for a reason . 

" I won't marry you unless the proposal is extravagant " 

Changbin laughs patting his head , " Ofcourse my prince "


End file.
